Related Links

Career Advice: Career Growth Begins with Career Boundaries

"My new boss casually asks how I spent my weekend. I want to keep my personal life private."

"My parents criticized my decision to start a business. They're convinced we will soon be living in a homeless shelter."

"My friends invited me for lunch this week and I just don't have time for one more social event."

As you begin a new venture -- job, business, promotion, relocation -- you may feel you're living in a glass bubble. Friends, coworkers, and family watch you closely, wondering if they'll have to pick up the pieces after a midlife crisis career crash.

You love them, but you need to set limits. Life gets crowded when you live in a small bubble.

1. Draw your own boundary map before getting caught in tough situations. If you're clear on your own needs, your lines will be solid.

2. When you're asked a tough question, use the opportunity to communicate the message you want to send.

Q: "Shouldn't you be spending more time with your family?" A: "I have a wonderful family. Did I tell you my daughter is a starter on her high school basketball team? And my son just won an award for…"

3. Skip apologies and explanations unless you really need forgiveness.

Q: "Can we get together for lunch next week?"

A: "Gee, I'm so sorry, but I have all these errands to run, and my mother will be visiting, and…"

Ouch! Let's try it again:

A: "I always enjoy lunch with you, but this week won't work for me. Can I call you later to set up a time?"

OR (if you never want to have lunch with this person):

A: "Lunches do not work with my schedule. Let's stay in touch by email."

4. Borrowing money or asking for favors will erode your boundaries.

If your parents lend you $20,000 to buy a house, they deserve regular updates on your financial status.

If your coworker watches your cat for a week, she will expect vacation stories (as well as a delightful gift and a promise to hire a sitter next time).

5. If you find yourself surrounded by people who push your boundaries, consider reviewing your priorities with a coach, counselor or trusted friend. Your words and gestures may signal, "Come on in!" when your brain says, "Keep away!"

Finally, don't beat yourself up! Genuine self-acceptance and self-confidence will deter most boundary-trespassers.

And sometimes you risk loosening your boundaries, recognizing that life in a glass bubble can also bring unexpected help, surprises and even rewards.

Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D., works with corporate executives, business-owners and professionals who want to transform career breakdowns to career breakthroughs.

Cathy has created the 21-Day Extreme Career Makeover and authored Making the Big Move: Transforming Relocation into a Creative Life Transition.
Fr*e Download: Why most career change fails (and how you can write your own success story).

http://www.cathygoodwin.com/subscribe
http://www.cathygoodwin.com/21days.html
mailto:goodwincathy@yahoo.com or (206) 819-0989

Best Rated Sites for Record Now

Arts Recording School

If Recording arts is your passion, make it your career. The Conservatory of Recording Arts and Sciences in Tempe, AZ, is a nationally accredited institution for audio education.

www.cras.org