Career Advice: Career Growth Begins with Career Boundaries
"My new boss casually asks how I spent my weekend. I want to keep my personal life private."
"My parents criticized my decision to start a business. They're convinced we will soon be living in a homeless shelter."
"My friends invited me for lunch this week and I just don't have time for one more social event."
As you begin a new venture -- job, business, promotion, relocation -- you may feel you're living in a glass bubble. Friends, coworkers, and family watch you closely, wondering if they'll have to pick up the pieces after a midlife crisis career crash.
You love them, but you need to set limits. Life gets crowded when you live in a small bubble.
1. Draw your own boundary map before getting caught in tough situations. If you're clear on your own needs, your lines will be solid.
2. When you're asked a tough question, use the opportunity to communicate the message you want to send.
Q: "Shouldn't you be spending more time with your family?" A: "I have a wonderful family. Did I tell you my daughter is a starter on her high school basketball team? And my son just won an award for…"
3. Skip apologies and explanations unless you really need forgiveness.
Q: "Can we get together for lunch next week?"
A: "Gee, I'm so sorry, but I have all these errands to run, and my mother will be visiting, and…"
Ouch! Let's try it again:
A: "I always enjoy lunch with you, but this week won't work for me. Can I call you later to set up a time?"
OR (if you never want to have lunch with this person):
A: "Lunches do not work with my schedule. Let's stay in touch by email."
4. Borrowing money or asking for favors will erode your boundaries.
If your parents lend you $20,000 to buy a house, they deserve regular updates on your financial status.
If your coworker watches your cat for a week, she will expect vacation stories (as well as a delightful gift and a promise to hire a sitter next time).
5. If you find yourself surrounded by people who push your boundaries, consider reviewing your priorities with a coach, counselor or trusted friend. Your words and gestures may signal, "Come on in!" when your brain says, "Keep away!"
Finally, don't beat yourself up! Genuine self-acceptance and self-confidence will deter most boundary-trespassers.
And sometimes you risk loosening your boundaries, recognizing that life in a glass bubble can also bring unexpected help, surprises and even rewards.
Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D., works with corporate executives, business-owners and professionals who want to transform career breakdowns to career breakthroughs.
Cathy has created the 21-Day Extreme Career Makeover and authored
Making the Big Move: Transforming Relocation into a Creative Life
Transition.
Fr*e Download: Why most career change fails (and how you can write your
own success story).
http://www.cathygoodwin.com/subscribe
http://www.cathygoodwin.com/21days.html
mailto:goodwincathy@yahoo.com or (206) 819-0989
Best Rated Sites for Music Charts
Latest News
Lennon’s MBE might be displayed - Star-ecentral.com
Fans of the late John Lennon are calling for his MBE award to put on display, 40 years after he infamously returned it to Queen Elizabeth II. The Beatles legend returned the honour in 1969, in protest at the British government's support of the war in ...
Music Business News- Find Concert Grosses - Billboard
The Music Industry relies on accurate music business news in order to track concert revenues and event attendance. Billboard is the No. 1 music business news publication for tracking the latest trends across many genres of music. Billboard Boxscore ...
En Espanol - Billboard
Mariah Carey earned her 18th No. 1 song, Guns N' Roses' "Chinese Democracy" was finally released and Lil Wayne sold over a million albums in a week. It's been quite a year in music. Where did your favorites land on Billboard's definitive year-end ...
Monks' prayers climb to top of pop charts - NorthJersey.com
HEILIGENKREUZ, Austria — Working to reach No. 1 on the charts? Try praying. That's how the monks of Heiligenkreuz Abbey found fame. Their compilation of Gregorian chants, a form of sung prayer, has stormed pop music charts worldwide. The debut CD ...
Dance music tops Aussie charts in 2008 - ninemsn
In 2008 Australian music stepped out of the pub and onto the dance floor. Dance and electro acts like The Presets, Cut Copy and Sneaky Sound System topped the charts at home and got international press talking about the "exciting new sound" from Down ...